Sunday, May 11, 2008

The next survivor series...

Sorry, but I have to share this...apologies to all those incredibly capable dads -but it is Mother's day! And I can't get the spaces at the top and bottom to go, but you will manage.


Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and
pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist
appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to Emergency.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all
chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with
jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and
eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal
cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once
complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, and find time at least once
to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book with the children each night and
in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair
by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday,
height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of
labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack,
favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want
to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins
only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a
moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again
for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!


Sew Create It - Jane said...

I do like that one!! LOL

Calidore said...

Ohh I love it. Every man comtemplating children - or the creating of such...vbg - should be made to do this course. I wonder how my dh would stand up to it - pretty well I feel.....roflmol.

TracyLovesScrappyQuilts said...

I LOVE IT!! Makes you wonder how we do it all doesn't it?
PS You forgot getting up every 3 hours to a screaming baby and trying to do the housework whilst a whinging toddler hangs off your leg.

Elaine Adair said...

LOVE it -- you forgot the part about "uh oh, the water pump just went out"! LOL.

BTW, on a related issue, please see my recent "Man Cold" post.

These poor guys, what would they do without us! Bless their hearts.