Sunday, July 29, 2007



The 5 Love languages.


On my last post I skipped over the whole Love language thing, mainly because I have the kind of personality that likes to know a little about everything (hence the success at trivia nights) but I readily admit when I am not an expert and I try to leave the expert things to those who really know what they are talking about.
Unfortunately I had a number of emails about the general gist of the love languages, so I am sharing the cover of the two books I own and adding a little more info. so that you may decide for yourself whether it may be a good purchase for you. For all of you who are bigger experts at this than me, I ask your tolerance!
Chapman describes 5 love languages that each of us may possess in some form but usually one is(for many reasons) our prefered way to "speak" love. They include: Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of service and Physical touch. His book goes on to show you how to work out which is yours and your partners love language and gives insight into how to better deal with a partner with that love language.
Now, my husband did not buy into blogging, I did, so I am not going to give you a heap of examples of how it works, but he would have no problem with me sharing the whole gift thing. As I said in my last post-gifts are v. high on my list, it is ingrained in me somewhere that people may say whatever but the proof is in the gift! Now as I get older I am far better able to value all the other love languages but you can't just quash 37 years and 51 weeks of what makes you tick. So what did this presenty girl do?-marry someone who just doesn't believe in it, family really didn't do the gift thing, probably didn't say much either, but they did things for you-acts of service, and spent quality time. Now it is fabulous to marry a man whose has a main love language of acts of service (I only have to mention casually that something needs doing and it is instantaneously fixed)....until is is Mother's day, Christmas or your birthday and...nothing!
This is where the book's insight comes in-you can read a million articles about how to spice up this area of your marriage or build up another area or understand how men tick....but if you don't know which language they are speaking then how do you work on these dialects?
You may be running around trying to be a better wife through acts of service like cleaning the house, when he doesn't even notice and is just hurt that you never sit and talk to him for 20 minutes. (Quality time) Until the light goes on about this you just don't realise how long you have been batting your head up against the wall.
So you may like to give the book some consideration, especially if you have ever said the words, "But I did this for you...and you can't do this for me, why?"
Anyway, it is almost 11 pm here, I am off on School camp up the mountains in the morning for 3 days, think of me abseiling, canoeing and jumping off the flying fox in 0 degrees as you sit by the pool. DD is so excited she can barely speak, she has been packed for over a week and if she wakes and find my things are not in my bag there will be trouble!!
On that last note I am off, sorted some of the buttons off the Op shop shirts today, I didn't want to get them all mixed up so I put them in a $2 pill dispenser, already making it easier to replace buttons so i thought i would share-have a good few days and don't hesitate to email for more of my non-expert advice!!!It just worked so well for us.

10 comments:

Susie said...

These books look interesting and I enjoyed your explanation
:)

Libby said...

A very clever and handy way to keep your buttons.

Sweet P said...

I totally understand the languages of love. DH and I are presenters for Engaged Encounter and we cover these languages of love, but in different terms.

As for me and DH we started out being gifters, although he is also into physical touch. Over time we have moved away from being gifters and have changed into spending quality time together.

Thanks for explaining. Have fun at camp.

Carol said...

Have fun at camp. As for the books, I wholeheartedly agree and actually have mentioned this book to my husband but still yet to get it. I'm a talker. I need to hear the "I love yous" which sometimes are few and far between. It doesn't count if I say "I love you" and then he says "I love you too". He has to say it first (Oh I sound so neurotic). I must get this.

Can I ask, did your husband read the book too to better understand you?

Chookyblue said...

sounds like it is a good thing I have not sent you a caramello koala.....I hate diets and it just makes me frustrated.............goodluck and hope the health improves........

Chookyblue said...

opps blasted wrong persons comment open..what I meant to say to you is.....we may share the same birthday.........any I am like you they have to get something (big or small).....but I do not have a stash ....if they have nothing they are in big trouble let me know when your birthday is......... and I will be thinking about your school camp........have fun great dd can go........

Susan said...

That's very interesting. Probably would have helped early in my marriage, but we've definitely reached nice accomodations now. =) Enjoy the camp with your daughter.

atet said...

The books look interesting -- I may have to check them out. I also love the pill despenser idea for keeping buttons organized. Have a great camping trip!

Lily said...

Enjoy the camp...brave woman!

Kairle said...

My DD is at camp this week, too! I hope you have a wonderful time!!

Love your button box!