Received this email and thought there were almost enough grins to make it worth sharing...Tracey
Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
PREGNANCY Q &A & more! Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.
Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a cyclone might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour? A: Not unless the word 'child support payment' means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in university.
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'OESTROGEN ISSUES'
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You 're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving - call 0800-'. 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.' 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.. 10. The Nurofen Plus box is empty and you bought it yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
.......THE EMAIL DIDN'T HAVE A #1!!! Can you give me one? Tracey
In regard to photos. If you like my photos I am flattered. Feel totally free to right hand click and save for later viewing. You may even like to drop me a line and tell me what you like, I love that. If however, you are going to tell the world this is your work or utilize my photos for a less than noble purpose, then please remember you have only been given one soul...and you should look after it wisely. Tracey Tutorials: I have occasionally given a few of these, they include: 1.Log cabin chooks 2.Using shirring elastic in clothes 3.Houndstooth check blocks-(progress photos and tutorial). 4. My free pieced roses. Drop me an email/link with a picture if you try these, I like to see people's interpretation.