Monday, January 21, 2008
Saw this on Beth's blog and thought it looked like fun. Have always been a Pride and Prejudice girl myself, the sensibilities of Sense and Sensibility couldn't compete with Laurence Olivier...or Colin Firth's Darcy either for that matter! But I have been told I actually occasionally look like Emma thompson, perhaps it is fitting!
But today 'Sensibility' is what I am fighting, so Beth's link was apt!
I wonder if Jane Austen was a quilter? I think I recall she was, there is a florally charm type diamond quilt with thin pale sashings appearing in my head that I seem to have seen somewhere.
I wonder if she ever had her confidence shaken by being taken to task over NOT having yet given a family member a quilt??!!!
That is why it has taken me a few days to get back to you after my sister's birthday, my heart really hasn't been in it.
My sister loved her quilt, THAT was not the problem. She also got teary about the calendar so all required responses were achieved! It was just that someone else in the family went a little off...in front of everyone, about the fact that has not yet been one for them.
Note: Blogger wont upload tonight so the quilt pic will have to wait for the next post.
Now, aside from the fact that, 1. I am only 38 and not yet on my deathbed, and 2. There are 5 metres of the perfect fabric picked just for that person just waiting to made up over in the sewing room, who out there in quiltmaker cyberworld likes to make quilts because they are told to?
I like to think my people kind of earn theirs....because life has dealt them a blow, because they have been very special to me, maybe even because they happened to compliment it just the right way when it was still homeless and therefore ended up with it. They are in fact MY quilts, my 10-100+ hours of work,my tens and hundreds of dollars and, just like the quiltmaker in The Quiltmaker's gift, they will be given where I see fit. (See, I told you I was having a little case of sensibility-don't worry, surely it will pass!)
Would being told in no uncertain terms that others have received them out of turn and then what should be on it(!!!) upset anyone else's sensibilities? Tell me what you think....and don't worry, I am being forced to learn resilience so I can cope with whatever you say.......maybe!
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20 comments:
I think I'd not only be miffed, I'd also think them extremely rude. Like you I like to give my quilts homes where they will be loved and appreciated and used. Every quilt that is made (by a quilter) has a piece of that quilter stitched into it, along with thoughts and prayers for the new owner. Now I can only imagine what thoughts would be stitched into (this) quilt, that said member was peeved about.....lol.... Don't let it get to you Tracey, look at it this way. They obviously love the quilts you make and are anxious to get one.....
Hmmm, interesting, very interesting - especially since someone very close to me will never have a quilt made my hands! I had to get over the initial shock of various comments, but I'm over it and that is that - end of story. No quilts for that person - ever!
I'd be irritated and upset (as I was) ... they just don't understand the work and time and love that goes into the whole project.
Nobody that demands a quilt, tells you what to make, and says they should have got theirs first understands what a true gift that a quilt is meant to be. I wouldn't make a quilt for that person until they realize that it isn't a popularity contest, geesh!! And you even had fabric picked out for that person...wow.
On a completely different topic...I was Elinor Dashwood on my quiz too, lol, and I love the Laurence Olivier and Greer Garson version of P&P too...though it takes many more liberties than other versions on the story lol!
well....I would not make them a quilt next thats for sure! Hopefully you will get a written apology or phone call ...
that was just too rude.
don't let it get you down, keep quilting and make the quilts for who YOU want to make them for. And when you want to
Kathie
I would certainly be put off . . . and being the bit of a brat that I am would send that name to the bottom of my list over and over again. Too much love goes into the making to be told what to do. You'll find a perfect place for that 5 yards of fabric, I have no doubt.
I'm with you on the -- "how rude" thoughts. Hand made gifts, especially quilts, are not something you make for someone because it is their turn. I'm lucky enough that my family members understand that. Even my mother (who gets more than her share of my efforts) only HINTED that she would like me to make her a quilt -- didn't demand it. And if anyone could demand something from me -- it would be her. (ok, and maybe my daughter -- but, she's two, she gets a bit of a pass on the "demands". Not much of one, but a bit.)
I'd say make what you want, when you want, and give it to who you want. I bet if you demanded a gift of the same person that was commensurate with the time, money, and effort that goes into a quilt -- that person would tell you to shove off. Since you have more manners -- I won't recommend the same action, but rather a smile and a thought that maybe, someday, they will get one too :0). *hugs*
You poor thing...to have to endure that in front of the family. I think it starts at "how rude", but ends with Gail's solution. In between....you're right - YOU determines "the order", the home and most importantly who receives the love and devotion put into each quilt.
You should make sure this person understands you position, and then move past it.
I'd be aggro too...totally agree with Cathi
There is nothing worse than being "told" to make a quilt for someone! except maybe making a quilt for someone and it ends up as a dog bed! yep, that happened to me. Obviously, your quilts are in demand (no pun intended). I'm sure being the lovely person that you are that the quilt will be made for that person. But I'm with Libby, to the bottom of the list they go, at least for a little while.
I did the quiz and I am Elinor Dashwood too. Must admit that Sense and Sensibilites was the first DVD I ever got for ME when we got our first DVD player.
As for the quilt.... I couldn'nt make one on demand. Sounds like they want one because they think they are missing out, not because they really want a quilt. Makes me feel better that my mum always calls them rugs! Lol. Only you can decide what to do, and what will make you feel better - to have it made, or to wait until you are ready to work on it. I would have to wait.
Good Luck, Jodie
That's happened to me too! Apparently there was a pecking order that I wasn't aware of. I had just made one out of fabric that was given to me - children's novelty fabrics, so I gave it to a child. Oops. The person who felt that she should be most near and dear, loved and therefore the first recipient. She had it wrong - the longer I quilt, the more practice I get, the better her quilt is going to wind up being. I did wind up giving her a quilt eventually, but it took a while, and I did feel resentful the whole time.
I'm so sorry that someone took what should've been a wonderful moment for you and turned it into something else. People think that we can zip up a quilt in a day or so. Big sigh for you my friend! A quilt "tells" us who it belongs to. It speaks to us. Maybe while we are in a quilt store or reading a quilt book maybe even looking at fabric. We hear a whisper. It's talking to our hearts and telling us who's next. When we crank one out because someone is sulking about not getting theirs then it takes away from the gift. I am learning in church that I cannot control what people say and do I can only control what I say and do. I am sure that you handled the situation with grace because you are such a sweetie. :)
You know you could always buy a panel and make them a wall hanging! :)
Sending some hugs your way,
dawn
Hey Tracey, I'm lining up on the same side as you (and all the previous posters, too!).
Most everyone in my family will eventually get quilts, unless I think they won't appreciate one. However, I will make them as I see fit. I will choose the fabrics, the color pattern, the design, the thread and such as I see fit. I will make it on my own schedule and I will gift it whenever I damn well want to. I have made it clear in my family that I will make the quilts on MY schedule, don't ask me for one. I have also made it clear that IF I give you a quilt, I expect it to be USED and loved, not stuck in a drawer somewhere for 'safekeeping'. I told the children that if they get a quilt, go ahead and use it. Spill your juice on it, use it as a fort, love it until it falls apart. If you wear it out because it was loved so much, I'll be likely to make you a new one quicker.
Anybody who doesn't like that can go to the store and buy some quilt there.
I'm in the process of HAVING to make a quilt. It's for my mother.We don't have a good relationship and I'm being blackmailed into making it. she has told everybody who will listen that I make quilts and she hasn't had one yet. That's a lie, she's had loads of comfort quilts. She has decided that she has to have a hand pieced, hand quilted Dresden Plate king sized bed quilt. I am making it but very slowly. It's taken me a year and I'm not half way through doing the piecing. I get grief everytime she comes over and she sees that I've done something else. apparently it's embarrassing to her when she tells everyone that she doesn't have a quilt and other, less important people do.
Make that quilt but do it slowly. Don't enjoy doing it and then when you give it over it will just be alot of fabric put together. It won't be a quilt.
love and hugs xxx
Hi Tracey, Have been wondering where you have been. I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma. Not knowing your relationship with this person I can only assume here so correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe they feel hurt and left out especially if they are a close family member, maybe they understand just how much love and work does go into a quilt and feel they are not a valued family member or deserving in receiving a quilt from you. I agree that airing their views in front of everyone is not very appropriate and it could have been handled in a better way but I guess when you feel hurt you tend to act stupidly,
they could also just be plain jealous, who wouldn't be when they see the lovely quilts and photos you make and take. I hope it all turns out and don't dwell on it as you only upset yourself and that is not a good thing.
Take care from Liz
Oh boy - I think if someone said that to me she would be most definitely crossed OFF the quilt list. And I think I'd tell her exactly why. At least I'd want to do this. To keep family harmony I probably wouldn't - I know myself too well. But that's for sure what I'd want to do!
From another Eleanor Dashwood . . . .
Oh Tracey my goodness, I would be hurt and devastated and angry and well more than likely inconsolable. A gift is from the heart and something so personal, even if you buy it and wrap it or make it. And to make it is to give a part of yourself, not just the item. How utterly rude of that person. Quite frankly if you ask like that you don't get, I think I would get my back up.
What a sad moment of an otherwise lovely thing.
Straight to the back of the queue in my book - can't do with petulence and after all these things are a gift that you give of yourself - sorry they made you feel so uncomfortable - if it were me I'd be digging my stubborn old heels in as we speak!!!
Hmmm some people are just plain rude. "It's all about me" sort of sums it up. It isn't quite right to demand a gift, is it?
The cricket starts again tomorrow, so that will keep your mind busy I hope.
So am I correct in the fact that not only was the quilt demanded, you were berated for "going out of order" and were told WHAT should be on the quilt??? I would take issue with that. A comment in jest could have been over looked, but not the berating. I would write a letter to the person and explain gift receiving etoquitte. I also thank her/him for ruining the wonderful quilt you had planned for them as the joy in making and giving it is now gone.
I LOVE your sister's quilt (shown in the next post)!!!! Glad she liked the calendar.
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